How to live with a life-limiting illness
Unfortunately, life does not come with an instruction manual. So when we are given the news that a terminal illness has unexpectedly entered our lives, we are unsure of how we are supposed to act, feel, and most importantly, live. Below is some advice to help make each day as meaningful and satisfying as possible.

• Talk about the illness. If it is cancer, call it cancer. You cannot make life normal again by trying to hide what is wrong.
• Consider each day as another day of life—a gift to be enjoyed as fully as possible.
• Learn to live with your illness, instead of considering yourself dying from it. We are all dying in some manner.
• Realize that life is never going to be perfect. It wasn’t before and it won’t be now.
• Pray if you wish and if it’s appropriate for you.
• Put your friends and relatives at ease. If you don’t want pity, don’t ask for it.
• Make all practical arrangements for your funeral, will, etc. Make certain your family understands them.
• Accept death as a part of life.
• Set new goals. Realize your limitations. Sometimes the simple things in life become the most enjoyable.
• Discuss your problems and concerns with your family, including your children, if possible. After all, your problems affect them, too.

How to help friends and families facing a serious illness
When someone we know is facing a serious illness, we often feel helpless. Here are some practical ideas for helping an individual who is seriously ill, as well as that individual’s family.

• Don’t avoid the individual. Be the friend you’ve always been.
• Include your friend in decisions. Don’t deny him or her a chance to make decisions in his or her life.
• Don’t always feel that you have to talk. You can sit quietly together, offering a simple squeeze of the hand, which says you care.
• Call before you visit. If your friend is not up to having company, he or she will be honest with you.
• Take your friend out for a pleasure trip, but know his or her limitations.
• Water your friend’s flowers.
• Offer to stay with your friend to give his or her loved ones a break.
• Bring your friend a book of thoughts, taped music, a poster, or cookies to share with his or her family.
• Offer transportation for a doctor’s appointment, shopping, or family needs.
• Bring magazines, photos, newspapers, and verbal reports to keep your friend from feeling the world is passing him or her by.
• Help out with some of the cleaning.
• Just send a card to say, “I care.”
• Don’t be afraid to share his or her emotions, laughter, sorrow, and fears.
• Help celebrate his or her life by decorating the hospital room or home.

Contact Cedar Valley Hospice for more tips or information

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