Emell Banks Jr. &
As told by Danny Banks, son
My father was hardworking, a pillar of strength and dedication. He was up early and out the door before the rest of my family was up. He was committed fully to providing for the family. My father worked long hours and never knew him to call into work sick or complain. Even when exhausted, he found time to be present at all my activities. My father was more than just a provider and hard worker, he showed through his actions what it meant to work hard, stay humble and loved without say “I love you.” My father’s actions did not go unnoticed. He showed me many things about family, hard work and life. Many things I wish I could of shared with him prior to his passing.
My mother had a heart of GOLD. She was the heart of my family. She was nurturing and endlessly loving. She thought about us as kids and my father before herself and gave her best without hesitation. My mother’s love was fierce and unconditional, a constant presence in every stage of my life. She was a teacher, a protector, a comforter and a guide. Whether a small scraped knee or a troubled heart, my mother knew exactly what I needed, often before I even said a word. My mother worked tirelessly, whether it be at home or working two jobs, she balanced countless responsibilities with grace and strength. My mother’s patience ran deep, her sacrifices were countless, and her love was immeasurable. She never seek praise or recognition, her reward was in the smiles of her family and in the milestones of her family. My mother was defined by perfection, but by the way she loved her family with all her heart, every single day. My parents were my best friends, and I miss them every day.
Cancer is very common in my family tree. My father passed on due to colon cancer and my mother passed on due to ovarian cancer.
Around March or April of 2006, my father started dealing with lower back pains. In May 2006, my father’s back pain increased and on May 27, I believe, he came home early from work not feeling good. Days after, his doctor ordered him to go in for a colonoscopy examination. The results from the exam showed a tumor approximately the size of a grapefruit inside his colon, which somehow attached to his liver.
After several months of chemotherapy, I watched my father’s life deteriorate. Nothing prepares you for the moment someone you love begins chemotherapy. My father did not want to live out the remainder of his life inside his home. In January 2007, my father agreed to live out the remainder of his life at the Cedar Valley Hospice Home. On February 5, 2007, my father went home to be with the Lord.
Prior to my mother being diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she had already faced more medical battles than anyone should. Her body may have grown weary, but her spirit remained strong. Just like with my father, after several months of chemotherapy, I watched my mother’s life deteriorate. My mother did re-marry and between her, her new husband and I, we all agreed that Cedar Valley Hospice was the way to go. On March 22, 2017 my mother passed away peacefully at the Hospice Home, where she was able to reunite with my father and our Lord and Savior.
In the final chapter of my parents’ lives, Cedar Valley Hospice care became a source of comfort, dignity and peace, not just for them, but for all of us as a family. During one of the most difficult times, hospice stepped in with compassion, professionalism, and understanding. They didn’t just provide medical care, they offered emotional and spiritual support, listening with open hearts and treating my parents with deep respect. The hospice team made sure my parents were comfortable, pain-free, and surrounded by care and calm. Hospice took the time to explain what was happening, answered all my questions, and prepared me for what was to come. Most importantly, hospice helped my parents spend their final days with grace and on their own terms, in a peaceful setting, surrounded by love. Hospice helped lift the weight of fear and uncertainty, allowing us to focus on what truly mattered in those final moments: being present, sharing love, and saying goodbye in a way that honored their lives. For that, I will always be grateful.
After my parents’ deaths, I began attending Cedar Valley Hospice’s Release & Remember event. Attending Release and Remember every year always brings emotional and a deep healing experience for me. Being surrounded by others who were also honoring their loved ones, I felt a sense of connection that words can’t fully describe. The Release and Remember celebration was a space where grief was not hidden, but acknowledged, shared and honored with compassion. Each year when I took part in the ceremony, I felt my parents presence in every quiet moment, in every shared tear and in every name I saw up on the board. Letting go wasn’t about forgetting; it was about honoring the love they gave so freely and the impact they had on my life. The celebration reminded me that even though they are no longer physically here, their spirit lives on, in my heart and in every act of love and kindness I continue to carry forward.
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