Larry’s Story
Wife calls Cedar Valley Hospice's care
'the ultimate experience of love'
Larry and Mary Shollenbarger’s love story began in May of 1980. Four months later, they were married at the United Methodist Church in Fayette. It was their zest for life and their kind souls that meshed perfectly. They lived in Waterloo and spent their days traveling, boating, skiing and loving their family and friends with their whole hearts.
“I was lucky I got Brett and Stan, his sons, in the deal,” said Mary. “Stan liked me because I drove a sports car, and Brett because I had an Irish Setter – and I continued to supply him with doggies until he was old enough to have his own.”
In the early 90s, Larry was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He was 52 years old. They removed the prostate at that time, but doctors were uncertain whether they were able to remove all the cancer. With no chemotherapy at that time, the cancer returned in six years. He underwent radiation, but in another five years, it came back again. He then underwent hormone treatments, but by 2015, the cancer had invaded other areas of the body, requiring many painful procedures.
“Larry never complained,” said Mary.
In 2018, the cancer invaded his bones. He underwent oral chemo but tried to continue living his life to the fullest.
“He loved to play golf with his buddies, and he always loved his Scotch,” added Mary. “He read recipe books like novels and enjoyed genealogy, college basketball and hanging out with his family and friends. He also had a Wednesday morning breakfast club where the problems of the world were discussed (not solved).”
In February 2022, they visited Mesa, AZ, and his pain began to increase. Doctors prescribed pain medicine, but it wasn’t helping much – to which Mary said, “We basically managed to live with it until coming home in April.”
Larry continued his ongoing relationship with Mayo Clinic, making 10 or more trips over the next several months. By this time, palliative care doctors were involved, trying to manage Larry’s pain, but without a lot of success. Mary was the best caregiver she could be, picking up medicines, taking him to appointments and doing whatever Larry needed. It was hard for her to see him in such pain. He had always been so independent and to see him struggle became exceedingly difficult. Meanwhile, Larry’s positivity kept shining despite the pain he endured.
“Larry asked his new palliative care doctor when he could play golf again,” said Mary. “She told him, ‘Larry, the pain in your back is caused by the cancer, and it is destroying your spine. I don’t think you will ever play golf again.’ I saw his eyes die; I don’t know how else to describe it.”
By July 2022, Mayo Clinic approved an experimental procedure that could
possibly prolong his life by 6-8 months. While visiting there, Mayo suggested Larry have his spine cemented, which he did, but it still didn’t help the pain. At that time, the palliative care doctor also talked to Larry about personal choices and quality of life. That is when Larry made the decision to call Cedar Valley Hospice. He was done with the trips to Mayo, the procedures and the stress of it all. He wanted peace, and he found that with his Cedar Valley Hospice care team.
They came to Larry and Mary’s home, managed Larry’s pain levels successfully and helped to calm him. For Mary, this brought her relief, having “professional problem-solvers and caregivers” at their fingertips. Now she could just focus on being “the love of Larry’s life.”
For the next three months, Larry surrounded himself with family and friends, making lasting memories – especially during his visits to the Cedar Valley Hospice Home.
“The Hospice Home is filled with peace and love. Their staff welcomed all of us with open arms,” said Mary. “Larry, of course, brought his Scotch, which he continued to research and taste test high-end, single malts… So, we sure had a lot of fun with that.”
Larry’s hospice journey ended on Oct. 24, 2022, nearly 30 years after his first diagnosis. He died peacefully at the Hospice Home. Larry’s youngest son, Brett, and his family, along with Larry’s siblings and many friends were able to enjoy his final days with him.
Mary called his journey “the ultimate experience of love” and expressed deep gratitude to Cedar Valley Hospice for their care and compassion.
“I am not sure what we would have done without your guidance and your support. Each nurse, aide, doctor, nurse practitioner, housekeeper and volunteer will forever be in my heart. I especially loved your visits that often brought us laughter. You made his final days comfortable and happy. You truly are remarkable people and having you there at the end was truly a gift.”
– Mary Shollenbarger, wife and caregiver of Larry Shollenbarger
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