Don & Chris’ Story
Couple finds hope, support from GUIDE Dementia Care
Don & Chris Greiner's Story
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Every day when Chris Greiner wakes up, she hopes for a good day. For the wife of a husband living with dementia, caregiving can be very taxing – but she does it because of the love her and Don have shared for over 42 years.
“Don is one of the nicest people you’d ever meet,” said Chris. “He’s very social and caring to friends and family – just a fun guy to be around. He loved fishing, racing and cars. He was very meticulous… a great mechanic. People would stand in line to buy his vehicles when we would trade or sell.”
Don's Diagnosis
Since his dementia diagnosis 15 years ago, things started gradually changing. It started out mild. Don was born and raised in Independence and knew most everybody in town, so it was unusual when he began not recognizing people when they would say hello. Soon, it progressed to Don not understanding what or why he was doing certain tasks.
“He came home from work one day and said to me, ‘There’s something wrong. I’m having trouble putting motors together.’ That’s when I really began to worry, especially because his mother passed away from Alzheimer’s disease,” said Chris.
They took him down to the Mercy Center for Memory Health in Cedar Rapids. Don, 61 at the time, had just made the age cutoff to be evaluated.
“I’ll never forget it. After talking with Don, the doctor came out and said, ‘We have a problem.’”
– Chris Greiner, wife & caregiver
Living with Dementia
Tests confirmed his dementia diagnosis. Neither Chris nor Don had Medicare or Social Security benefits because of their age, so they were at a loss of what to do. They decided that Don would quit working, and Chris would work another year. Thankfully, they had short-term disability for Don. However, plans changed when Chris’s position at work was eliminated, and Don had to go back to work for another year.
“I saw the toll that year took on him. It was just harder and harder for him to keep things straight and to not make mistakes,” said Chris. “I was glad when that was over so he could retire.”
As Don’s dementia progressed, he was no longer able to cook or do laundry, which he was very proficient in after living alone for years before he met Chris. Then, after seeing a local neurologist, he was no longer fit to drive.
“It began to affect every aspect of our life,” Chris added. “I now have to handle most everything. I manage the money, cook for him, brush his teeth, wash his face and help him shower. It can be maddening, this disease. Sometimes I ask the same question over and over to have him help me with something as simple as, ‘Would you go grab me some paper towels?’ He might head in that direction and come back with a boot.”
Chris added that being a full-time caregiver is quite exhausting because “you can never turn it off or walk away from it. If I did want to go somewhere, the guilt of asking a family member or friend to help weighs on me just as much as I worry for him. One time, I told him I wanted to go away on a girl’s trip, and I had to bring up him staying at the care center for a weekend. He stopped for a minute, looked at me and he said, ‘I know you have to do those things, so I will make it work.’ And I just started to cry. There was my husband that was the most wonderful man that always worried about me.”
Getting Help Through GUIDE
Chris knew very early on that she needed support. Don’s neurologist provided some education, and she sought out a caregiver support group at her local library several years ago.
“I put off going for a long time,” said Chris. “There used to be this very bad stigma, and sometimes still is, that if you have health issues, you don’t talk about it… that you still need to be able to take care of yourself and your spouse, or keep the lawn mowed and the snow shoveled and wear 10 hats in one day. This is just not realistic in the long run.”
After hearing about Cedar Valley Hospice’s GUIDE Dementia Care program, Chris made the call. She had always been a proponent of seeking out whatever help she could find, but before GUIDE, Chris found there weren’t many hands-on resources to help both Don and her as a caregiver – at least ones that didn’t cost a fortune or had an income limit. Cedar Valley Hospice’s GUIDE Dementia Care program, which started on July 1, 2025, was a perfect fit to help them.
GUIDE Dementia Care Services
Comprehensive Care Plan
Caregiver Support
Coordination and Support
24/7 Access
Respite Services
Advance Directive Assistance
“The program has been wonderful for both Don and I. Their goal is to keep patients out of care centers for longer by providing resources and support so they can stay at home. It has done exactly that.”
– Chris Greiner, wife & caregiver
With the GUIDE program, Medicare-eligible patients, regardless of their stage of dementia, and their caregivers receive benefits like: a comprehensive assessment and care plan, education, resources, coordination and support including 24/7 access to a care team member. Certain patients also qualify for respite services, typically provided by a GUIDE care team member.
Don typically gets 4 respite hours every other week with his care navigator, Tiffany, whom he truly enjoys. This allows Chris time away to run errands, meet friends for lunch or to do what she loves – gardening.
“Tiffany knows what he likes to do, and they have a nice time together, walking the dog or picking up sticks in the yard [indeed a part of his meticulous behavior that still remains]. I don’t have to worry because she understands him and the disease. They are there whenever you need them to help you both,” said Chris. “They check in on me, provide education, tips for caregiving and connect me with other resources. She also provides emotional support for me. Every aspect of the GUIDE program has been so meaningful. You can tell the team genuinely cares about our wellbeing.”
What pains Chris the most is the loss of connection and adventures her and Don enjoyed. The man once full of chivalry who opened the door for her was gone. They will never take their boat out again or cruise around in their beloved Camaro like they did so many times or take fun trips with their extended friend group.
“We sure had a blast,” Chris smiled. “Then we sold the boat and the Camaro, which I thought we would never do… and that was that. That was my life, and it was slowly ebbing away. He never brings it up, because he doesn’t remember.”
While their life has changed, Chris and Don’s favorite times still are when they can be around their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
“He still recognizes a face as somebody he loves,” Chris smiles. “He may not know their name, but he knows he loves them, and for now, I hold on to that.”
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